I want to...I need to...

Things are changing a lot around here. I graduated from dental school, and I guess I'm a Dr. now, it doesn't really feel like it yet, mostly because I haven't found the right job. So, I'm a pre-stay-at-home-dad, for the time being. Being at home right before my little girl comes has had great perks; I get to sleep in, which I won't get many opportunities to do for several more years, I get to watch crappy movies on tv that I had wanted to see but didn't get the chance (thank you DVR), I've gone to movies - by myself (actually kind of nice, I don't have to wait on anyone to get ready or leave, I don't have to find any seats for a massive group, just the lone wolf haha), I've read books for pleasure NOT FOR STUDY, and I've gotten into photography, too. WOW, what a run on sentence. Blah...

Anyway, some of those things get boring, seem mundane, and rather unimportant the longer I do them. I really don't want to look back at my life and say, "I watched a lot of crappy reruns and subpar movies in my day." Wow, lame, and not what I need to be doing.

I need to be learning skills, developing my talents, and looking for a job. I need to be increasing my faith through study and prayer and service. I need to learn how to be a great dad, but I'm pretty sure there's a lot of on the job training associated with that eternal position.

I'm sure I'm going to get great joy in the many years to come, because I already have in my meager preparations thus far. I've enjoyed painting a chair yellow for my daughter's room. I found frustration and I grew through searching out answers and starting and then fixing the crib that we bought for her, and I can't help but smile when she kicks while my hand is on my wife's stomach or after I've sang her a lullaby.

So, some of my "I want to's" are losing their appeal, while my "I need to's" are becoming more important to me, and maybe, even though they might not seem fun right now, "I need to's" are turning into "I want to's."